Advocacy Series Part 2. What advocates wish people knew and understood

By: Dawn Bilpuch

Here’s part 2 of my advocacy series. This time, we’ll focus on what advocates wish people knew and understood about their profession.

We’ve all had this happen. There’s always one or some friends or family that don’t understand what you do, or why you do it, or both, or they don’t understand the life you live, etc.
In the last entry, we covered what advocacy and being an advocate means, and what it means to me, and asked what it means to you. While we may touch on some of the things covered in that part, we’ll also be covering some new areas.

Sadly, you’ll have people in your life as an advocate or other type of job especially public servants, that just do not understand what you do, why you have to do the things you do, and why you can’t just “leave work at the office” etc. What you have to do depends on the person and your situation. If you can distance yourself, that’s ideal. But, if not, things can get more complex. Also, while people may understand some things, they will never understand it fully. Because they aren’t doing the work, they aren’t living your life, etc. You’re the one doing the work, living the life, and every thing in between. I’ll be covering some things, but, I also want to hear from you.

We’re public servants, in some ways, similar to first responders. While we aren’t police, fire or EMS. and do not claim so be, we’re on-call 24/7 365 pretty much. Whether it’s for peer support, or dealing with unexpected crises in people’s lives, or any of a number of things. Yes, there’s still paperwork to do, emails to check and manage, the list goes on.
Plans will change on a dime. It has happened. Sometimes, it may mean missing family events, or meals etc. That means you have to be flexible with us too. Realize that our work is very demanding time-wise, and we just have to go with it.
The stuff we see, and, how it affects us, and what we have to do because of it.
This one’s a tough one. We see a huge amount of abuse, negelect, depravity, broken lives, and so forth. We see people that have either slipped through the cracks or are slipping. We see people that continue to slip through the cracks for numerous reasons. The system in their county is broken, every one passes blame, not enough resources to go around, the list goes on. It’s rampant, and it’s constant. Trust me when I tell you, that this stuff changes you. It changes your psyche. It drains you mentally and emotionally. If you have mental health chaklenges, it can exacerbate them. Or you’re at risk of developing them. Or, if you have your own past trauma and bd experiences, (which, sadly, is quite common,) things can get even more intense, and draining, among other things Sometimes, we just don’t talk about it because you wouldn’t get it, or it’s too painful, or whatever reason. Sometimes, we just need to talk to people to vent, cry boeak down, whatever we have to do.
Our day doesn’s end at 5 PM. Advocates don’t keep regular office hours. It’s near impossible. There’s sometimes there’s calls at 6 PM. or 9 PM. for instance, and things get quirky when other timezones are at play. Contrary to what people think, we can’t leave work at the office. Even when there’s no calls, you’re still keeping up with and managing emails, and, also, doing paperwork. Or sometimes helping people when their tech breaks down. The list is endless!

We’re not always extroverted. As I said before, we see a lot of crap. The inside of our heads looks like a crime scene sometimes. We are on calls, and the like all day long, around people. Plus, if you’re a caregiver as I am, things can get more intense. But, at the end of the day, the last thing I want to do, is talk on the phone with just anyone, or be around a bunch of people. It’s like what a tech or customer service rep feels like. They’re on the phone all day, dealing with the public. When they get done, the last thing they want to do is be on the phone 24/7 on off-hours. It’s the same thing. For me this is especially impoortant. If I talk to you it’s because either I need to vent, or I’m helping someone, or it’s a phone call I had to make when I had time, or, some other reason. Please respect that. When we say we don’t want to do something, go somewhere, etc, it’s not because we don’t love you. It’s because we’re peopled out, mentally, emotionally drained, and yes, physically too.
Taking time off isn’t as easy as it sounds. The planning that goes into it for us advocates is intense. Even with our planning, we may not get that day off.
It’s a weird profession. There’s people that get paid for it, and, others who do it as a volunteer thing. Then there’s people that would love to get paid for at least some of what they do. Do I want volunteer work? Yes. But, I’d also love to get paid for what I do also, and make a living from it. I’d even accept barter-and-trade, and I have in the past.
Advocacy is a huge part of your being and identity, and who you are as a person. If we didn’t love what we did, we wouldn’t be doing it.

There’s a lot of other things that I want people to understand, but, I have a hard time finding words for them. I think that’s one other thing I want so to understand. Is that sometimes, as advocates, we want to talk or need to talk. But, sometimes, we just can’t put what we want to say to words. Sometimes we can write it better, and sometimes, we can say it better and sometimes it’s both. Other times, we have to find other ways to say what we want to say, such as sharing songs with people . So, with that being said, what would you want people to understand about being an advocate and advocacy? I’d love to hear your thoughts! Stay tuned for the last entry in this series, which will cover things that can be done to help advocates